Real friends are hard to find! Great.
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| How to help a friend... http://www.kawi2strokes.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=3565 |
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| Author: | smokin [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 1:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | How to help a friend... |
I met coincidentally yesterday evening an old friend with whom I used to ride/camp/have fun a lot when we were young. He had also several 2-stroke Kawasakis back then. 15 years ago he survived a stroke but he was/is half paralyzed, hardly can walk with stick and right hand does not work. He hardly can talk. I met him last time some 3 years ago. Then he was married and had one daughter. Now they are divorsed, ex-wife living with the daughter in a small condo (they sold everything and split 50/50) and my old friend is living in a "bunker", it is a house project they started but managed to make basement/cellar only. He spent his 50% to keep this project he never can finish. Later on we drove there with my wife. She knows him and she was shocked - she said thats no place for a human being to live. There is no warm water,no toilet, no shower, no kitchen (just a micro) an old sofa, 2 old cars and some junk. Electricity yes but I can imagine it is really cold place to stay over the winter. So we placed him an offer to stay with us as long as it takes to get a better place - only the problem he has no money and no close relatives who could take care of him. We are willing to take him but not forever - if he cant help himself... He cannot stay in that rathole but I do not know what to do. |
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| Author: | starfire [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
I had a similar problem 6 years ago, when an old friend I found living in a firewood shed. He had become an alcoholic and really was so bad he couldnt even digest food properly, just alcohol. I ended up building him a small cottage on my back paddock for him to live in, a small fire for the winter and a few amenities, like a long drop toilet and a small wash basin. He lived there very happy until recently when he was so sick he had to move into town to be cared for properly. He left me a huge amount of wine casks and bottles... mountains of them!! I feel for you... it is very hard to help, but not for them to become dependent on the helper. I wish you well, and admire your kind nature. Many would walk away. Good luck. |
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| Author: | smokin [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
Thank you Starfire, I also highly appreciate what you did to help your old friend. Not easy. We should always give a hand whenever possible. In my case the guy (my age, 55) is not a drinker at all, never been. This makes it even more sad because he is fully capable to think clearly but cannot help himself because of his disability. Hardly any talk but now he writes using his left hand, he was right-handed before the incident. |
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| Author: | ZERO [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
Real friends are hard to find! Great.
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| Author: | RODH2 [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 5:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
Can't offer much advice, Esa,( I am thinking about this) but you are a good man, trying to help! 
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| Author: | Sverre [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 8:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
kind of surprised that social services cant help you out? i think that in norway all would have been taken care of by the state. housing, money, medical assistance etc.. |
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| Author: | husson73 [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 9:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
I don't know what to do too. Can't he sell the bunker and buy a little condo? You're a good man Esa. |
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| Author: | smokin [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 2:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
Found out more today: Social security is not willing to help because they pay already something small to him and he has not asked their assistance to find a new home - he is dreaming about keeping the project going on and get it ready someday. As far as I can see he never can do that but he is probably trying to keep something from the old life with him - the junk we saw yesterday are remains of the ex life. 2 rusty cars and... They started the project almost 20 years ago and in the meantime the purpose of the land has changed; it is now industrial area but the land plot is too small to build a business building. And the permission to finalize the original plan is no more valid. Dead end and the land is worth next to nothing. Family is gone and he is desperately hanging on the ruins of his life. Thank you for your support, I just feel so bad for him. We will accommodate him next winter. |
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| Author: | BarryB [ Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How to help a friend... |
About 8 years ago Liz and I moved her third husband out here (Don is 75 and Liz was a trophy wife long ago). Don has a daughter in Virginia but that is it. Anyway his health never that good, cannot drive, is a Korean war vet (so living here has great VA support). He can take the bus to places and walk to his favorite watering hole, take him shopping and over for the holidays. We bought him a nice little 1 bedroom, hundred year old house in Old Colorado City about 15 minutes from us. I really like Don too, he's old phone company, works with tools, we share a like of similar books and authors - we've become good friends. 
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